Boo! Did we scare you? No? Well, it’s probably because you’re too busy looking at your phone, wondering why Casper, the Not-So-Friendly Ghost, decided to ghost you on that one dating app.
That’s just the way it is in some spooky corners of dating apps, where ghosting is as prevalent as pumpkins on Halloween.
Why Do Ghosts Even Ghost?
Let’s be honest: Ghosts have been “ghosting” long before it was even a thing.
Remember that one creepy abandoned house that seemed to be in every neighborhood?
Or the one where all the older kids told you a witch lived that was right down the street?
We thought they were haunted and booked it past those places. And as we grew up, we became less scared of those ghosts from our childhoods and moved on—or so we thought.
But the ghosts have returned with a vengeance and are haunting present-day dating apps—and since they mess with your heart instead of just hiding under the bed, they aren’t as easy to shake.
If you’re lucky enough to have avoided the ghosting phenomenon, lucky you! But the rest of us have been ghosted—meaning someone we’ve been chatting with suddenly vanished with zero warning or explanation.
Now, the eerie question: Why do people ghost? The possibilities are endless. Maybe they found a hotter haunt? Maybe they were possessed by a poltergeist? Or maybe, their phone was sucked into another dimension; we will never know because they ghosted our ass.
Who Ya Gonna Call? Ghostbusters!
If you’ve been ghosted, your first instinct might be to call a paranormal investigator. Put down that phone, though. No need to call Bill Murray, Ernie Hudson, Dan Aykroyd, or Harold Ramis (RIP); those dudes are in a different kind of ghostbusting business. But have no fear, there are a few ways to deal with your ghastly ghosting problem.
Stage a Séance
You’ve texted, you’ve called, and you’ve even reached out via Morse code (beep-beep-beep). But alas, the ghost is unresponsive. Now what? You could hold a dating app séance! Send out one last Hail Mary message to summon the ghoster: “Hey, haven’t heard from you in a while; everything okay?” If the ghost decides to materialize, great! If not, put away the Ouija board (we mean close the message) and move on.
Summon Some Good Spirits
In the world of the paranormal, positive energy repels negative entities. If it works with the supernatural, why won’t it work when it comes to your love life? Surround yourself with friends who uplift you. Regale your pals with the ghosting tale over a drink (or several drinks); your friends are sure to have some ghosting tales of their own. Yes, misery loves company, but so do good spirits!
Exorcize Your Inbox
Don’t let old messages from your phantom potential partner haunt your inbox like a skeleton. You need to hold an exorcism on those old messages! The power of Christ compels you (this is a movie reference, and if you don’t know it, don’t get curious and then watch the scariest movie ever made—we don’t want to be responsible for a sleepless night)! Okay, don’t delete them if you’re not quite there yet, but at least archive them so they’re not as visible. Out of sight, out of mind.
Ghost-Proof Your Love Life
You can never completely eliminate the chance of being ghosted; we don’t want to blow smoke up your you-know-what. But you can certainly ghost-proof your love life. How? Transparent and clear communication is your weapon—your garlic, your holy water, your proton pack. Make sure both parties know what’s at stake: Is it casual, is it serious, or is it just a “haunting for now” one-time thing?
The Ghoulish Detox
Look, you’ve been ghosted. It hurts like a silver bullet to a werewolf or a house smooshing a witch. Take a “ghoul detox” day. This means avoiding your dating apps, binge-watching your favorite shows, and treating yourself to your fav takeout. It’s like you’re sage-ing your soul, clearing out all the negative energy, and making room for better things.
Haunt Them Back (But Just for Fun)
No, we don’t mean for you to seek vengeance on your ghoster. That’s not cool, and it won’t change anything or make you feel any better. But a harmless, funny GIF or meme sent their way won’t hurt. If they’ve got a sense of humor, they might just materialize back into your life like a spectral spirit. If not, well, you’ve got the last “boo.”
Spirit Guide Session
Sometimes, we all need a little guidance. Why not seek the wisdom of someone older and wiser? Whether it’s a trusted friend or your quirky relative who smells like incense, claims they have “the gift,” and reads tarot cards, talking it out might give you some clarity—or at least, a way to vent and get it off your chest.
Beware of Zombieing
And sometimes, a ghoster will reappear just when you think you’ve moved on—they’ll pop up and start liking your IG posts or shooting you a casual “Hey, long time no talk” message. This is called “zombieing.” Don’t fall for it unless they give you a really good reason (or an apology) for their previous disappearance.
Final Boos
Let’s face it: Ghosting is a part of the modern dating scene, and it’s here to haunt almost everyone who is on a dating app. While this is depressing, it’s a fact you have to deal with if you want to put yourself out there and find a compatible match!
The important thing is not to let it freak you out of trying again. Ghosts come and go, but the right spirit will stick with you—hopefully, in a less spooky way than we made it sound.
So the next time you’re haunted by an unresponsive apparition on a dating app, just remember: you’re too fab-boo-lous (sorry) to let anyone bring your spirits down. It’s their loss!
You are now ready to confidently look under the bed, so to speak, when dealing with the phantoms who perpetrate the phenomenon of ghosting. May your dating future be filled with fewer ghosts and more soul mates. Now you’re not just prepped; you’re paranormally prepped!
