Oh politics! Everyone has an opinion, and whether someone else’s political views line up with yours, while it might not have been that big of a deal 10 years ago, it can be a dealbreaker in the current climate. Especially when it comes to dating.
In an election season, politics plays a pretty big part in people’s lives, and it can be really hard to date someone who is on the other side of the aisle. If they have totally different political beliefs than you do, how do you even talk about it without it becoming tense or possibly getting into an argument over your candidate?
There are ways to have sane, rational political discussions when you’re dating, and we’re going to give you some tips on how you can negotiate these sometimes treacherous political waters and still have a healthy, happy, and respectful relationship!
Acknowledge the Differences Early On
If you are going out with someone you met on a dating app and they have a totally different political outlook, it’s always better to address the elephant (or donkey) in the room sooner rather than later. Politics are sometimes an important part of a person’s identity, so getting it all out in the open from the jump will mean you won’t be dropping the equivalent of a political bomb on them if you end up really liking each other!
It doesn’t have to be a loud declaration or a heavy conversation the second you start chatting, but you should casually acknowledge that your views on politics might not match up. If you do this, it sets the tone for respectful discussions about it later on. And it’s a whole lot easier to work with those differences when you both know exactly where you stand from the beginning.
Honest Conversations
When you are dating, you are getting to know someone on a deeper level, and that means understanding their political perspective! The topics will come up, so you should approach the conversation like any other important part of the romantic relationship.
Be open, honest, and curious. Try not to concentrate on what divides you, and ask questions to get a better understanding of why your partner believes in what they do. Maybe their political views are rooted in or stem from their upbringing, or they’ve been shaped by other experiences.
Either way, the goal here isn’t to win an argument or convert them to your political views, but to get a better understanding of each other. And bonus! Practicing and learning how to navigate these kinds of talks with care shows that you respect each other’s opinions, even if you don’t agree.
Concentrate on Core Values
Right before an election, politics is everywhere and takes up most of the media’s airtime, but in a relationship, what actually matters are the values that connect you. Sure, you have different opinions about policy matters and which candidate you want to see in the Oval Office, but when it comes to the bigger picture?
Like how you see family, future goals, or what kindness looks like—you could have more in common than you think! Concentrating on your common values will help make you both feel more connected and remind you why you’re together in the first place. Because at the end of the day, a strong romantic relationship is built on respect and love, not on each other’s voting habits.
Respect Each Other’s Political Views
Dating someone with a different political view doesn’t have to be a constant source of friction! If there is mutual respect, and you both acknowledge that while you don’t always agree on certain things, your significant other’s beliefs are just as valid as your own.
It’s more than okay to have those differences, and you have to try and convince them to come over to your side of the political aisle. The main point is for you to create space so both perspectives can coexist without causing any unnecessary tension!
Avoid Debates and Lectures
If and when politics does come up, it’s almost a knee jerk reaction to try and sway your partner over to your way of thinking. But you have to tamp down that impulse. Because honestly, you’ve probably done this before and did it work? We’d be surprised if it did!
People are pretty firmly entrenched in their political beliefs, and these types of debates usually don’t end up being anywhere near productive. They usually turn into arguments, and that will leave both of you frustrated and maybe even angry.
It’s usually best to skip any deep political talks, especially if you know it’s a sensitive or sore spot. You’re in a relationship, not a debate on MSNBC or FOX. If a topic feels like it’s going to kick off an argument or cause tension, hit the pause button and bring the focus back to the things that you do agree on.
Empathy and Understanding
Instead of looking at your political differences as a barrier, you could try to see why your romantic partner has the views that they do. You don’t have to agree with them—you just have to get where they’re coming from if you can.
Ask questions, listen, and maybe you’ll learn from each other. Usually, people’s own lived experiences have molded their beliefs in ways you didn’t think about. Empathy always creates a stronger connection, even if you don’t see eye to eye on politics.
Set Boundaries for Discussions About Political Views
Okay, so you’re dating someone with different political views, and it’s not hard to get caught up in a debate on whatever topic you’re disagreeing about. But you have to keep things from getting out of hand, so you both have to agree to certain limits when it comes to political convos.
Boundaries are always a good thing! If you have solid boundaries that you both respect, you can circle back to the things you like about each other and the relationship so you don’t always feel like you’re on opposing teams. Politics is a really touchy subject for some, but it doesn’t have to dominate every interaction—and you shouldn’t let it!
Time and Place for Political Views
Look, not every moment is an ideal time for a political talk. If you’re on a date or come home to your significant other after a long day at the office, the last thing you want to do is get into a super heated argument about who you’re voting for and why.
That’s why setting boundaries around when and where you talk politics can make a huge difference. Don’t bring it up when you’re not in the right emotional headspace, or when you’re just trying to relax or have fun. The last thing someone wants to hear as they’re trying to enjoy themself is, “What’s your stance on immigration?” Mood killer!
Limiting when and where you have political chats can also keep things from feeling overwhelming. You don’t need to rehash them or debate every single news story that flashes across the chyron—it’s fine to simply enjoy each other’s company. Politics will still be there.
Agree to Disagree
In a perfect world, we’d all agree on everything. But that’s not a thing, so, at some point, if you aren’t on the same political page, you will hit that wall where neither of you is going to give an inch on a certain issue, and that’s totally fine.
Learning how to agree to disagree is a way to keep things respectful without feeling the need to change your partner’s mind. Concentrate on the reasons that you’re together in the first place—it could be common goals, values, or just the happiness of being in each other’s company. Those are all bigger things that matter way more than who votes for Harris or Trump.
When you set these boundaries, you aren’t necessarily burying your head in the sand or just avoiding hard conversations—you are finding other ways to handle them that don’t put an unnecessary strain on your relationship.
There’s so much more that connects you beyond politics, and keeping that front of mind can make a difference.
Strengthen the Relationship Past Politics
Politics is a touchy subject, but they don’t have to define your relationship if you don’t let them come between you! There is literally so much more to life than politics that you can connect over, and it’s important to concentrate on the good moments that remind you why you’re together.
Common Interests
Pop quiz: What do you like to do together that has nothing to do with politics? There’s probably a ton of stuff! You might love going out to eat, golfing, going to live shows, or just hanging out together in your comfy clothes while you endlessly scroll through one of your five streaming services looking for something to binge-watch.
It’s these things and spending quality time together that sustain your bond as a couple. When you do the things that make both of you happy, you get away from the differences and get back to the things that bring you closer.
That doesn’t mean you always avoid having important talks—it just means that you are making sure that political discussions don’t take over your relationship.
Doing the things you both love to do builds positive experiences, and that can make any disagreements you do have pertaining to the political realm feel less intense in the long run.
Building Mutual Respect
You don’t have a good relationship if you don’t have respect, period. You won’t always agree on everything, especially if you have differing politics, but respecting your partner’s perspective means valuing where they’re coming from.
You don’t have to change each other’s views, but you do have to understand your partner’s opinions and respect them, and vice versa. Even if you don’t see things the same way, if you have underlying respect, it will make a difference in your relationship.
Don’t try to win an argument, and concentrate on keeping your discussions calm and measured—you don’t want the constant weight of disagreement hanging over your heads. After Election Day, it’s the connection between you that really matters, not who you cast your ballot for.
By spending time together, doing the things you love, and keeping respect at the forefront of your interactions, your romantic relationship can stay strong.
Conclusion
Dating someone with different political views, especially in a fraught political climate such as this, will be a delicate balancing act. But it by no means has to derail the relationship!
Having open, honest conversation and respect for each other’s opinions is a must, though—without that, the train will go off the tracks. You don’t have to agree on every single political topic, but if you make sure that those disagreements don’t take over the relationship, it can work.
Ultimately, it’s the connection you’ve built by doing the things you like to do together that matters the most. Keep it calm, be respectful of each other and your viewpoints, and find common ground by doing things that remove politics from the equation.
