Spending quality time together is essential for every couple’s relationship development. Time spent doing things together, whether it’s talking in bed, making dinner, or enjoying a shared hobby, can give rise to meaningful moments of connection.
Time can mean much more to some people than it does to others—for example, those for whom quality time is a love language. In light of this, how does the relationship suffer when one partner’s busy schedules prevent them from spending quality time together?
To help you better understand your “quality time” partner’s” love language and meet their needs, here’s a breakdown of how to communicate quality time as a love language.
What is Quality Time?
In Gary Chapman’s framework for love, quality time is the most relational of the five love languages. Focusing one’s full focus on someone is the most powerful way to show love and affection.
If you want to be really present with your partner while you’re together, you should put down your phone and shut your laptop–they will feel an intense emotional response when you do that. This person feels valued, cherished, and special since you have made an effort to spend time with them exclusively.
Technology has made it such that we spend less and less time with our significant others, which is a real tragedy. Wherever we are, whether it’s on the web or lost in our own thoughts, we’re never really together.
Still, simply being in close proximity to each other while engaged in separate activities does not necessarily equate to meaningful time spent together, regardless of the duration. For those whose primary love language is quality time, the absence of meaningful connections can result in feelings of emptiness and isolation.
A Guide to Spending Quality Time With Your Partner
Making your significant other feel loved and valued is the most important thing you can do while trying to speak their love language. Be prepared for a little bit of awkwardness if you and your lover don’t speak the same love language. But if you put in the time and effort, you’ll eventually do these things automatically for your partner.
Keep Eye Contact
Making meaningful eye contact with your partner is the first step in improving your quality time together. Keep looking at them the whole time; it will send a message of affection and appreciation that they are important and loved.
Further, it shows that you are interested in their thoughts and opinions. But if you’re talking to your partner about your day and then look at your phone, they’ll think you’re uninterested in what they have to say and, therefore, in them.
Be An Active Listener
Many people struggle with the art of active listening even though it is one of the greatest acts of affection someone else can do for them. In reality, most people give more consideration to their own views and beliefs than those of their partners.
Practice in active listening by doing the following while they are speaking:
- Pay attention to their words.
- Lean into them.
- Confirm what they’ve said.
- Offer thoughtful questions.
- Wait till they ask for advice before attempting to give it.
- Consider how you may feel in a similar circumstance or try to put yourself in their position.
Limits Your Use of Technology
Nothing aggravates a person who values quality time more than telling their partner something they think is incredibly important and then learning that their partner is only partially focused on it while attempting to reply to a text or respond to an email from a coworker.
Get into the routine of putting your phone aside during meals so that you can pay close attention to what the other person is saying. You may not talk about anything earth-shattering, but by prioritizing your partner before technology, you make an important and meaningful gesture.
Quality Time Over Quantity Time
The quantity of time spent together is less important than the quality of such interactions when thinking about quality time. Even though you probably have a lot on your plate already, taking the time to have an in-depth, uninterrupted conversation with the person you care about is a great approach to show your love.
Relaxing on the couch with a cup of coffee in hand before work is all it takes to really appreciate each other’s presence. The amount of time that you spend together is less important than the quality, so keep this in mind.
Make Plans
Even though it never hurts to be impulsive, organizing a planned activity—especially for a quality time partner—can be just as exciting and fun as grabbing takeout or a movie at the last minute. After dating for a while, it’s too common for couples to fall into a rut.
Try coming up with plans rather than going with the “same old, same old.” It will mean a lot to your partner if you make the effort to initiate quality time. Plus, they will be extremely touched by the thought of spending time with each other. Whatever you decide to do is truly unimportant; just come up with a plan!
Get Into a Routine
Find small opportunities to bond with your partner every day. For example, you could pray or meditate together every morning or solve the Sunday crossword puzzle as a weekly tradition.
Finding an easy way to connect regularly can help in making your time with your partner feel truly happy and valued. Also, it’s something that you can both be excited about doing as a team.
Be Available and Present
During moments when your partner may feel insecure or experiencing something difficult, it is important to show your care by being present and spending quality time with each other. While it may not be possible to eliminate their discomfort completely, it is important to show that you are there for them whenever they need your support.
Stay In the Moment
The notion that time is limited and that tomorrow is never guaranteed is always front of mind for those whose primary love language is quality time. For this reason, they cherish quality time spent with a partner enormously and look for it in romantic partnerships. Rather than worrying about the future, they believe that living in the now is more important.
Be Creative
Everybody has days when they have a mile-long to-do list. Bring your significant other along to avoid having to do everything yourself! You can squeeze in a little quality time even when you’re doing routine, boring tasks.
In this case, just have a conversation instead of listening to music! Ask your partner how they are doing and if anything is causing them stress at the moment. Almost every chore can be converted into a chance to squeeze in some quality time if you make an effort and get creative!
Takeaways
When it comes to quality time, it can be tough to find common ground with your partner, particularly if they value it more than you do. But you will get the hang of it in due time if you put your mind to it! Wrapping up, here are the things to steer clear of when it comes to quality time:
- When you get to spend time together, don’t complain about it.
- When your partner is talking, avoid the impulse to multitask.
- Avoid seeing your significant other as needy.
- Put all technology away when you and your partner have something planned.
- Asking your partner what they need to feel loved is super important, so don’t sleep on that.
