Sometimes online dating can seem like a young person’s game. But maturity is essential to success when it comes to finding a meaningful connection. That’s why so many people online dating over 40 have been able to use dating platforms to their benefit and get the significant other they were looking for!
Navigating a whole new realm of online dating after any of those experiences can be difficult, and understandably so. Many online daters over 40 are widowed, divorced, or separated and might have some scars from those experiences. This can make having confidence in the online dating game a little tough to hone, even if you know you’re ready to date again!
So we’re here to help give you the confidence you need to handle online dating over 40 in style, so you can succeed! Knowledge is power, at the end of the day. The more you know, the less nervous you’ll be when entering the online dating field. Our tips will help you get your footing so you can find your stride.
Online dating over 40 can be an incredibly enriching experience! Take these tips to heart, and get started on your next adventure with the arsenal of information you need.
Start with the Right Site
Every dating app is not for everyone! Different dating platforms cater to different types of people — and people looking for different kinds of relationships.
What are you looking for?
- Do you want a long-term, committed relationship? Maybe eHarmony might be right for you.
- Do you want a more casual dating experience? Consider looking at an app like Tinder.
If you need advice, online dating app reviews can be an essential resource to check out before signing up for – or paying for – a dating platform. Take advantage of the wealth of information reviews offer, and find the platform that feels right to you!
Put “Stuck-In-Your-Ways” in the Past
Have you always dated the same exact type of person? Is blonde hair a dealbreaker, because, well, that’s just not attractive to you? Are you more than tempted to narrow your dating pool to fit precise parameters that have served you well in the past?
Leaves those restrictions in the past! I’m not saying you have to get experimental. But if you’ve only dated people without children, or have some other rule in your mind that you’re stuck to – it will not serve you by bringing that baggage into your future. Being a bit more open-minded can open up a world of possibilities you didn’t even know existed.
The online dating over 40 world is enormous. There are so many people on there it can be pretty intimidating. So narrowing down your dating pool is a beneficial and logical idea.
But people can surprise you, and limiting your matches based on superficial factors might not work. Maybe there’s a great-looking brunette with no children, but you disagree on fundamental values. Alternatively, an amazing-looking blonde can read you like a book, know what you’re thinking, and agree with what you believe at your core. Do you really want to limit yourself to meeting the brunette? You don’t even want to talk to the blonde?
The point here is you’re not sure what’s out there – you just know many people are out there! But narrowing the net based on cosmetic or less critical features isn’t going to help you find the right match out of all those online daters. Cast a wide net, keep your mind open, and see what you catch!
And if this advice makes you uncomfortable, you can always try to work up to it! There are a lot of amazing brunettes out there, after all. Just keep in mind that opening up to different and new possibilities can benefit you! But at the end of the day, online dating is on your terms. Take this tip in stride, and see if there are other options out there that could be the right match for you – if and when you’re ready.
Have High Standards
With that being said, don’t compromise your standards on qualities that truly matter! Our last tip referred to more cosmetic or cliche standards that don’t necessarily qualify or disqualify a dating candidate from being a good match. There are meaningful standards that you should stand by, and they don’t have to do with the color of someone’s hair!
Now, we’re talking about values. What are you looking for in a partner? What qualities matter to you in a significant way? Think about it, and once you’ve made a picture of the type of person who would benefit you and be a positive presence in your life, stick to those standards. Don’t settle for less than what you’re worth!
It can be tempting to let these standards take a back seat if you come across an especially attractive or excessively aggressive match. But avoid falling into these traps if you can. Your standards matter because they mean something to you. And if they don’t check those few specific boxes, they’re probably not the person you’re looking for.
Political preferences, religion, morals, and values are strong sticking points that shouldn’t be pushed aside. Eventually, these factors can cause a permanent disruption in your relationship. Don’t waste your time or the time of an interested party by toying with someone who you know things aren’t going to work out with.
Stick to your principles, and spend your time looking for the right person for you instead!
Don’t Compare Yourself to Younger Online Daters
Statistically, most people stay within their age range when it comes to online dating. That said, you’ll still see a wealth of profiles featuring young, spritely daters. And they have a habit of making some older daters feel less competent in the online dating game.
Keep in mind that you’re not competing with them! Again, most online daters want to date someone relatively close to their own age. These younger candidates probably aren’t great options for the type of person you’re trying to date. So there’s no need to compare yourself or fear competition from them.
Maybe they seem more exciting and can stir up some jealousy within you. While they have a lot of positive traits, so do you! And that’s in addition to the life experience and maturity you have to offer someone.
Don’t get your confidence shaken by doom-scrolling profiles of younger daters. Stay focused on the people most likely to come into your life and make it significantly better by offering you their life experience, maturity, and love!
Keep Your Pictures Accurate
Remember that fantastic photo of you in your 20s that you love to tout? That picture is amazing! But it’s not the right picture to upload to your online dating profile.
The person who’s right for you want to date you now – not back when you were in that picture. So, they want to know what you look like now. Show them pictures of your current appearance so they can be attracted to you and be convinced to send you that first message.
With that being said, outdated pictures aren’t the only type that should be left out of the mix. Photoshop is everywhere nowadays, and your perfect match isn’t interested in seeing how you look with a filter on the camera.
Posting pictures that have been altered sends out the message that you’re not confident about how you look. And that quality isn’t very attractive to most daters.
Show your authentic self in the pictures you decide to include in your profile. With most sites maxing out at about 10 images, there’s no room for nostalgic photos or photoshopped masterpieces. Show people what you really look like, and you’ll likely find people who are genuinely attracted to the unfiltered, current version of you!
It’s Okay to be Nervous!
If the online dating experience is new to you, you’re not alone. It’s okay to be nervous! Millions of daters are out there, and a massive chunk of them are online dating over 40 years old and scared silly. If you’re worried, remember that you’re not the only new online dater shaking in their boots.
Also, that nervousness will start to fade with some experience. Most people don’t find their perfect match in the first person they make contact with. You’ll have a bit of time to get better and smoother at the online dating process before meeting the person you really want to impress.
So take your time, get your feet grounded, and dive right in. After discovering and speaking with a few matches, you’ll start to get the hang of things and feel better about your ability to handle online dating. It’s okay to be nervous, and you won’t be nervous forever! The hardest part is getting started, and it’s all downhill from there.
Entertain a Few Options
Building off of our last point, remember that you’re not in a committed relationship yet, even if you’re looking for one. Don’t limit yourself to talking to one person at a time!
Online dating is a great way to get a good read on multiple romantic prospects at once. This saves time and energy and can cushion any disappointment you might experience along the way.
If this feels uncomfortable, remember that you’re not doing anything wrong! Also, bear in mind that the person you’re talking to is probably doing the same thing.
They’re more than likely speaking to a few people to find out who’s most compatible with them because that’s the name of the game. Limiting yourself to talking to them exclusively just isn’t fair to you!
Don’t Be Afraid to Pull the Trigger
When you start chatting with someone, and it’s going really well, don’t be afraid to pull the trigger and ask them out for an in-person date! That initial chemistry is something you want to capitalize on. The end goal is to avoid becoming their buddy who they can chat with occasionally online. You want to meet them in person, so go for the ask!
Waiting around to see if the conversation gets deeper isn’t going to serve you. It’s okay to be nervous about asking because no one likes rejection. But if the conversation is going that well and making you want to ask them out, they’ll likely say yes!
Maybe the concept of actually going out on a date makes you incredibly anxious. This is understandable; they’re probably feeling the same way! No matter how things go, the experience will benefit you in the long run. Whether your next date is with them or someone else, you’ll be less nervous in the future.
Also, one great way to stop nervousness in its tracks is to talk about it! Getting it out in the open immediately alleviates a lot of the anxiety. Putting fear on the table, even before you see them in person, is a highly effective way to get it to go away for good.
Pick the Right Date Location
Some people online dating over 40 who start dating online are tempted to bring their date to a place they think will impress them. That hot new club on the corner? That go-cart place? It might not be the right choice unless that’s where you’re most comfortable.
The point is to take them to a place that you genuinely enjoy, or that you’re pretty sure you will if you haven’t been there yet.
Going out of your way to pick an “impressive” fresh date location is a transparent feat that’s not likely to capture the positive attention of your date. Captivate them by taking them somewhere or doing something that captivates you.
The right person will be able to spend time with you in a way that’s enjoyable for both of you! If you have a date location in mind but wouldn’t go there otherwise, re-think the choice and pick somewhere else.
Also, keep in mind that during your conversation, they may have mentioned somewhere or something they enjoy! Even if it’s not your favorite idea, if you can enjoy yourself anyways, it might be the right option. Having a date you know they’ll appreciate is a great way to set the scene for romance and feel less nervous.
You can even discuss options for dates with the person you’re talking to if you need help with ideas. That’ll take the pressure off of you! Not everyone likes to be surprised, anyways.
When you initially ask them on a date, you don’t have to have the exact activity or location stapled down. Finding the right first date location can be part of the journey you and your match take together.
Get Things Started
If you’re a bit reprehensive about online dating over 40, it can be hard to be the one to make contact with matches. The temptation here is to sit back, wait, and let the matches reach out to you. And there’s no harm in doing that – right?
Well, it sets you up to be at the mercy of your matches. Taking the reigns and reaching out to a couple of people will empower you and give you more confidence to use in your online dating experience. It’ll also help you exude a confident demeanor to your matches, which is generally a desirable trait to convey.
So don’t be afraid to start things up! You have just as much of a right to reach out to people as they have to contact you. Browse a few profiles, and message a few of them – even if it’s only to complete the action and get the initial nervousness out of the way. Make your move, and you might just get the response you’re looking for!
Have Fun!
When all’s said and done, try to have a good time! Keeping your options open, talking to a few people at once, and focusing on what really matters to you will set you up for success.
By creating an authentic profile, you’ll attract the right type of matches. And if you can gain the courage to make first contact, ask someone out, and take them somewhere you’ll both enjoy, you’re likely to find success in the long run.
So get out there and find the person you’re looking for! Use these tips, and sooner than later, you won’t have to worry about online dating anymore.
