Chances are pretty good that you know what (or who) a “Karen” is. If you’re unfamiliar with the term or have never encountered one in the wild, lucky you!
IYKYK applies here, but for the blessedly uninitiated, allow us to explain. A “Karen” is a very particular type of woman and 99.8% of the time, she’s white and has a specific haircut (usually a bob, but this can vary from Karen to Karen).
And these women are always doing too much—and not in a good way. They are entitled, complain publicly (and loudly), and think the world revolves around them.
So, how did this regular name turn into a meme and an insult? The internet—specifically Black Twitter (now called X), came up with it around 2020 and it was all over for the ordinary name since then. It’s so widely recognized because, during the pandemic, there were videos everywhere of countless Karens freaking out in public spaces.
Sure, watching a Karen spiral out is interesting from afar, but what if you have one in your life? More specifically, your love life! If you thought finding love was hard enough as it is, what if *gulp* you think you’re dating a Karen?
Don’t panic…yet. You have some investigating to do about this precarious situation—and we have a “Karen” checklist so that you can suss out the signs that you are—or aren’t—dating a Karen.
The Karen Checklist
As we said, dating is hard enough as it is without having to deal with dating a Karen. Yes, the viral videos are all very entertaining (and enraging), but having your very own Karen in your romantic relationship? That’s chaotic energy and not the good kind.
If you have a sinking feeling that your significant other might be that person—the one who is ready to demand to speak to the manager in the middle of brunch over something small or leave a novel-length Yelp review because the food delivery didn’t come with plastic silverware—don’t freak out just yet.
We put together a checklist to help you figure out if you’re dating a Karen or just someone who’s super opinionated most of the time. See how many of the boxes they tick off before you weigh your options!
1. Customer Service Isn’t Safe
The most recognizable attributes of Karens are that they are like heat-seeking missiles for managers. If there’s an issue—whether it’s a real one or perceived—they’ll be on it faster than the speed of light.
If you’re in a Starbucks and her order is “a half-caf flat white latte with soy milk, one pump of vanilla, no foam, and steamed at the kid’s temperature,” it’s suspiciously Karen-ish. What will seal the deal is if she complains about the drink: if there’s “too much foam” (lattes are literally made with foam) or if it’s “too hot, I burned my mouth!”
The complicated order isn’t enough to judge, but if she loudly complains and scolds a barista, you are probably dating a Karen.
2. The Social Media Soapbox
Karen’s love to make their grievances known far and wide and social media is their bullhorn. Yelp? A battleground. Facebook groups with other Karens?
It’s their favorite playground unless they get banned for fighting with another Karen in the comments. Karens absolutely thrive on letting the world know when something doesn’t meet with their very high standards.
What are the signs here? Soooo many, but here are a few glaring red flags:
- If they leave a Yelp review every time you visit a store? Buckle up!
- If they start a Facebook page or group that is dedicated to complaining.
- If they are an admin of said Facebook page.
- They tag companies on social media to complain about said company.
3. Always Right, Never Relaxed
Karens don’t just see talking as a conversation—they see it as a chance to win, and you don’t even know you’re in a competition! It could be a little disagreement about what movie to watch or a full-blown argument with Siri; Karens always have to come out on top.
So, if your romantic partner has ever gotten into a verbal argument with Siri, Alexa, or a car’s navigation system, it’s probably time to reevaluate.
Quirks that Might Actually Be Endearing
You don’t have to throw the whole Karen out with the half-caf latte! There are some traits, if they are harnessed properly, that can actually work in your favor when you’ve landed yourself a Karen. Here’s what these mouthy women can do for you:
They’ll get you a discount, even if you feel like you are witnessing seven rounds of tense hostage negotiations and a manager has to get involved. You’ll save some money on a smoothie or a meal or two—but it’ll cost you time and public embarrassment.
Planning? Pfft, they’ve got that locked down tighter than Fort Knox. There is no event, dinner, or vacation that goes uncalculated. Yes, they go overboard and do too much, but that’s not always a bad thing—they are always prepped, and they stay ready.
Red Flags That Might Be Relationship Killers
And then, of course, there are the not-so-quirky traits that will make you wonder if it’s even worth the effort. Like the following:
- Over-Controlling Tendencies: If they micromanage not only their coffee order but yours, too—“No foam. Extra hot. No sleeve, double-cup it. Two stir sticks, not one!”), the problem here is not the amount of foam—it’s the Karen.
- Waitstaff’s Worst Nightmares: If they think snapping at a server is the way to get extra dipping sauce for their fries, you’re in big trouble. In fact, if you’re dating anyone who is rude to the staff of customer service, it’s time to dip.
- Public Meltdowns: Berating a stranger is never okay, and Karens tend to do this over something small; there are hundreds of videos out there. This is never a good look—especially when there is recorded evidence. The internet is forever!
Conclusion: Is It Time to Karen-alyze Your Relationship?
Have you figured out if your Karen is just a lovable overachiever or is she a walking PR disaster? Only you can decide, but it all comes down to one simple question: Can you handle it without losing your mind or deal with the embarrassment if she Karen-outs?
Before you make any rash decisions, though, remember this—none of us are perfect. You know that deep down, even though we try to keep it on a leash, we all have our Karen moments (yes, you too—stop shaking your head!).
If you have a story about dating a Karen, please spill the tea and tag us on social media!
We want that tea—unless you’re going to complain or write a one-star review about BestDatingApps.com on Yelp.
