Chances are, if you have ever dated or been in a relationship with an ENFJ, or The Protagonist, you thought they were way too flirty. And maybe they were! But if you stop to really think about their communication styles, the majority of ENFJs are not flirting; it’s how they interact with others. To you, it’s flirting. To Protagonists? It’s just them being friendly.
In light of this, most ENFJs are intensely interested in developing meaningful connections with others— romance and dating are typically essential since they are extroverted individuals who seek bonds with others. So let’s get into all about how ENFJs approach dating and romance!
The Protagonist Overview
ENFJs, aka The Protagonists, are enthusiastic organizers dedicated to making things happen in the world they envision. Because of their charm and ability to find the best in others, they often serve as catalysts for positive social change, their attention is focused on principles and long-term objectives, and they are excited about the potential of others in their lives.
Those that identify as the ENFJ personality type classified by Myers-Briggs are often active, goal-oriented, and super busy. Optimistic and forward-thinking, they intuitively see possibilities for progress and are tuned in to the needs of others, and are sensitive to human suffering. The Protagonist is driven, but it’s not for their own benefit; instead, they tend to carry on the weight of the world on their shoulders.
People with an ENFJ personality type value having genuine, mutually supportive relationships with others and consider teamwork the most effective strategy for achieving goals. They have a high need for approval and a low tolerance for criticism–they are sensitive souls!
The personality type is made up of these four character traits:
- (E)xtraverted
- (N)Intuitive
- (F)eeling
- (J)udging
As the ENFJ expects the same sincerity and honesty from others that they do from themselves, they may indeed be let down when they discover that others are less than genuine. The ENFJ puts forth significant effort to build and sustain deeper connections with others and to contribute meaningfully to the lives of those in their immediate and extended social circles.
How ENFJ Characteristics Apply to Romance and Dating
Those with the ENFJ personality type invest a lot of time and energy into their friendships and romantic relationships. The ENFJ is intensely involved in the world of relationships since their sense of identity is shaped by the strength of their closest personal connections.
Protagonists are kind and caring, with excellent people skills, and their sentiments are genuinely supportive and loving. Their strength is in their ability to encourage and inspire others around them to achieve their full potential, especially in their romantic partnerships.
Although having difficulty directly asking for it, they want reciprocal validation in their close connections. An ENFJ can switch into a critical, sharp attitude when pushed, but when they have made their point, they return to their usual cheerful selves. They can tend to be clingy with the people they love, but they are valued in their romantic relationships for their sincere warmth and compassion.
Relationship Preferences
The Protagonist puts their all into a relationship, including romantic ones. When they feel this strongly about someone, ENFJs need to be able to give their all to their partner. Relationships merely reinforce the degree to which they put themselves out to please their partners. The Protagonist and their partner might struggle with this because the ENFJ tends to expect too much– they want the “perfect” relationship, which is a high bar for any couple.
With their high levels of empathy, ENFJs are great partners because they are attentive and encouraging. They are determined to keep this connection strong and continue to support them even when nobody else is. The ENFJ’s tendency to put the needs of others before their own means they may sometimes put themselves last. Their significant other must be able to read between the lines and anticipate their needs, even if they don’t express them directly.
When the ENFJ is feeling overwhelmed, they need a significant other who will watch out for them and be supportive. When it relates to romantic partnerships, ENFJs want a partner that is not just accepting of them but also understands how to give to the relationship and not simply take.
When the ENFJ is feeling overwhelmed, they need a significant other who will watch out for them and be supportive. When it relates to romantic partnerships, ENFJs want a partner that is not just accepting of them but also understands how to give to the relationship and not simply take.
The ENFJ isn’t really into casual dating, particularly as they mature. While they’re young and trying to fit in socially, they could date around, but it drains them socially, and they just don’t see the point- -the Protagonist needs to surround themselves with those they can rely on, not simply casual acquaintances.
Tips for Keeping Protagonists Interested
Talent of all kinds, regardless of the skill, often draws ENFJs’ interest. The ENFJ is going to be particularly attracted to a person with some type of impressive talent. When someone else exhibits an ability they would not have expected, they are thrilled to discover it and will want to get to know someone who possesses said ability. This means they like show-offs–after all, extroverts are gonna extrovert.
ENFJs are also drawn to self-assured individuals who can confidently carry themselves; this powerful, often enigmatic attitude is likely incredibly attractive to ENFJs. For the ENFJ, a person who doesn’t always react in ways they might anticipate is often intriguing and attractive. Because they’re accustomed to reading others, there can be a strong attraction toward somebody who they can’t figure out or immediately understand.
Things to Consider When Dating an ENFJ
While dating an ENFJ may be rewarding in many ways, it’s important to be prepared for a few obstacles that come with each Protagonist. For example, ENFJs may come across as manipulative and demanding in romantic relationships.
They may be continually working to improve their relationship because they want so much for it to be perfect, so they may attempt to manipulate their partner into changing their behavior to maintain the relationship.
The ENFJ’s eagerness to please others might be problematic since they may neglect their needs. They’re conflict-averse, too, which means they might never really voice their concerns. The ENFJ might eventually get resentful if they allow themselves to become obsessed with the relationship. If the ENFJ receives little attention for their effort and commitment, they may feel neglected, and an ENFJ may not feel loved if their partner does not show them affection and love.
ENFJ Compatibility with Other Myers Briggs Personalities
In romantic relationships, ENFJs flourish. Depending on their partner’s personality, they are generous with love and affection–here are their most compatible love matches!
INFP – The Mediator
Because of their numerous similarities, an ENFJ and INFP are perfect. Both are empathetic individuals who genuinely want to help others and value real communication that gets right to the point.
INTJ – The Architect
Together, the reserved, resolute INTJ and the friendly, diplomatic ENFJ have all the makings of a formidable power couple. This pair balances each other’s shortcomings and cultivates a mutually beneficial partnership.
ENTP – The Debater
Even though ENFJ and ENTP have key differences, ENTP complements each other effectively in the right scenario. These two personalities have the potential to form a power couple with a strong foundation founded upon friendship and trust.
Least Compatible Personality Types
The ENFJ personality is often considered to be one of the most compatible with other types. There are, however, a few with whom the ENFJ is less likely to get along.
ESTP – The Entrepreneur
There aren’t many Myers-Briggs personality types that are as different as the ENFJ and the ESTP. An ENFJ and an ESTP can appear like an odd couple at first glance, and research suggests they may not get along very well.
INTP – The Logician
While the analytical INTP and the passionate ENFJ seem to have nothing in common, they may harness their differences to their advantage and forge an unbeatable alliance. It will be difficult for them to get there, making them less compatible
ISTJ – The Logistician
The ENFJ is upset by the ISTJ’s tendency to prioritize efficiency at the expense of group harmony and other people’s emotions. The ENFJ perceives this conduct as cruel. On the other hand, the ENFJ’s emphasis on cohesion might sacrifice effectiveness, and the INTJ views this approach as being a fake or pushover to appease others.
Final Thoughts About Dating a Protagonist
The ENFJ is loyal and generous in relationships, making them excellent long-term partners. They’ll make an effort to satisfy your needs and support you in achieving your goals.
If you want to get along well with an ENFJ, you must be flexible and willing to do whatever it takes to make them happy, just as they do for you!
If you want to have a successful relationship with an ENFJ, it’s important to show your appreciation, handle conflicts diplomatically, and encourage your partner to see things from your viewpoint when you disagree.
